Thinking back on the last couple of weeks There is one day that will go down in my memory as one of the best/hardest days of my life.
  Usually after seeing the depravity of a country stricken with the deadliest diseases in the world, you would think that it would not hit you in the core of who you are as much.
  But on this particular day, I was forever changed and even more broken for the people of Swaziland.
 

                 We have been working at the hospital and this time I was spending some time in the children’s ward, this is where I met little Gushle (Goo-sh-lay).
  In the children's ward the babies do not have their own beds.
  About five babies share one bed and Gushle was laying at the very end of a row of little ones.
  It was about 90 degrees outside and He was wrapped up in so many blankets.
  He was tiny.
  As I watched his mama change his diaper , it took everything in me to not loose it right there.
  As she took his sleeper off I saw a little body of skin and bone.
  You could see every bone in his body and when she rolled him over you could see the outline of his organs.
  I watched as his little ribs bounced up and down so fast as he was trying to breath.
  I asked his Mama what he was sick with and all I found out was that he was 5 months old and he has been in the hospital for most of his short life.
  I sat holding his hand and stroking his soft little head for a very long time.
  After sitting there awhile His mother asked me to hold him while she went to go do something.
  As I took this beautiful, tiny, frail little boy into my arms I was shocked because of how light he was.
  He weighed about 8-10 pounds.
 

                   I sat there and questioned God to no end as I held Gushle.
  Why do little kids have to suffer?
  Why is Gushle most likely not going to live past 6 months old?
  Why? Why? Why?
  I was so upset as I stared into the lifeless brown eyes of this precious baby.
  As I sat in the silence of a hot hospital, in a place that wreaks with death and screams hopelessness...I was broken.
  I could have sat there for the rest of my life holding Gushle and been totally content.
 

                   I know that God sends us into situations where we have no control and calls us to love.
  Without question we need to trust that He has it under control because ultimately He does.
  But there are times when You hold kids like Gushle, or take a little 4 year old girl to get genital warts burned off of her body, or when you play with kids that have no mommy and daddy; that make it really hard to trust the Lord with it all.
  But I know that God has huge plans for Swaziland and the orphans here and the broken, and the sick and grieving.
 
Please continue to pray for the people of Swaziland.